Marriage? seriously?

A few days back my mom showed me picture of a gentleman in his mid twenties and that’s when this conversation took place,

Mom- Take a look, how’s he?

Me- one nose, two eyes, two ears, hair on the head, normal, he is absolutely normal!

Mom- so do you like him, should I take it forward?

Me- excuse me?

Mom- c’mon, you’re not a kid anymore, all of your friends are getting married.

Me- Not now, ask me again after this century.

I don’t know why parents are so much obsessed with the idea of getting their kids married as soon as first member of their friends circle gets married. They are always like, “see, such a nice guy X has found” or “If you will marry too late, your kids will call you granny instead of mommy!” 

This ends in some random snaps getting waived in front of you every week, getting you convinced by any relative that visits home that it’s the right age to get married and making you wonder that why in the world you had to grow up! Once I was asked if I like someone else so that I’m so reluctant in this matter and I saw blank and shocked faces when I replied that I like too many people but none so much that I can spend rest of my life with them.

I mean, seriously, what is this fuss all about? Why can’t an individual lead a single life and why no one pays attention to the benefits of living a single life. Parents say that you need someone to share your life with, but why? I don’t feel like sharing even my cone of icecream with someone, spare life. They say marriage gives you children that provide you some motive in life, but who says I don’t have any motive in life? I have bigger motives in life than to stay up with a newborn for whole night, cleaning up after it and become a zombie till it starts going college.

In addition, God created me with some very special things that suggest I should remain single for whole my life, I talk while sleeping, I put my arms and legs on anything that is found in my close proximity, sometimes I throw things out of my bed in deep sleep. I’m an easy going person most of the times but sometimes I want time of my own. I don’t allow anyone to sneak in my room during those show-me-the-meaning-of-being-lonely times.Moreover I’ve turned into an over organized person recently and I often scold people who try to ‘help me’ by putting things at wrong places in my cupboard, a whole human being sharing my cupboard and ruining it’s decorum is far far away from the wildest of my imaginations. I can’t imagine anyone bearing with all these norms and that too when I’m not the progeny of any billionaire.

And I fear, what if one fine day I find out that the person I’m living with is a moron/ not-that-classy-as-he-seems-to-be/ a freak or what if he finds out something like this about me? Would he understand that I want to take a break from him/ never see his face again?

Well, I hope that if actually I’ll have to live with someone (The One), he never sees this post and I get more fascinated towards the fact that guys possess some cool stuffs (big comfortable shoes, screwdrivers, cool books and guys’ deodorants), he'll let me use occasionally and I’ll get someone who will listen to my monologues. I better do it fast before next century arrives and Mom comes again with a random snap!

And why should I fit in?

‘You should interact with people more’, she suggested.

‘Not this again’, I said.

‘And you are not the same person anymore’, he added.

‘Not this again’, I requested.

‘And this is how you are supposed to be’, they implied.

‘Not this again’, I screamed.

There is nothing that disturbs me more than the mundane and imposed things. How the things are and how they should be, how inappropriate I am to fit in and what should I do to fit in; these are perhaps the most unwanted discussions of my life. Hence, greatest of my fantasies involve ‘running’.

Running barefoot somewhere in Sonoran desert, running endlessly on an endless street while wearing a long floral white gown, running with the sea waves of some anonymous beach and perhaps running away to some uninhabited place too. I want to run away from every mundane and imposed situation.  

People say that you should face what disturbs you so that it will stop haunting you. But I feel that sometimes it is better to escape than to let a thing shred you mercilessly. Conformity is not a choice; anyway, as Rita Mae Brown famously said, “I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself”. So no, I would never conform to banality. I can bear with people not approving of me but I can’t bear being an alien to myself.

What are the not-so-mundane/unimposed things you might ask. Actually even I can’t answer that accurately as I’m still exploring it’s dimensions. But I can provide you a vague picture of what I think of it. While doing a certain thing if you feel that you would do it in exact same manner even if no one was watching you, if you do a thing with same passion even if no one knew you are doing this thing then that thing is certainly what you actually want to do. And what you actually want to do can not be a mundane/imposed thing, at least not for you.

A-not-so-mundane/unimposed thing enters inside you like a sea wave enters through a sea stack, it flows inside you thoroughly mingling with your whole being and when it leaves you, you are not the same person anymore. You evolve. You feel sheer happiness running in your nerves. On the other hand, doing a mundane/imposed thing keeps you the same person for centuries.

Dipping in the awesomeness of what your heart wants you to do is a blissful feeling. Once you will taste it, you’ll get addicted and this addiction would become the most beautiful thing of your life.

The cherry on the top of the cake is, when it becomes monotonous, you can try doing a mundane thing. You will realize what is your real desire and destiny in nanoseconds!

                                                                             

Beyond That Smudged Mascara ..

                 “Since a very long time (almost five to six thousands years), she was wondering what was missing in her life. Something was creating a void in her heart, a void which was sized greater than the ozone hole situated above Antarctica. A void so grave, that it endangered her whole being. A void that welcomed so many nights with smudged mascara and tears drenched pillows in her life.                                                                      

                                                                                        That void was created under so dark some circumstances that it turned even darker and refused to go. Those circumstances are irrelevant and they need not to be here in this post so I’m excluding them on purpose. That void gave her immense pain but that pain became her habit to such a level so that soon it became her lighthouse and her albatross simultaneously.

                                                                       

She wanted to fill that void but she found herself so weak to complete that task alone. She looked for someone who could help her with that. She was so desperate in doing so that she engaged herself in some abusive relationships. How were those relationships and what went wrong with them is also irrelevant here so I would skip that too.

                                                                                          

           All her life she was waiting for someone who could love her, who could support her when she had questions about her existence and who could take care of her. Eventually she found out one day that the person she was looking for since ever was none other than herself. She started loving herself and she realized that it was the most genuine form of love she ever witnessed.

                                                        A balanced mind and a healthy body were the results of that self love. The hardships and the lonely nights became her lessons of the life and soon she became invincible and that void turned into an epitome of confidence sized of Mt. Cotopaxi. She was an alpha woman now, absorbing and radiating more happiness than she ever thought of.’’

..

If reading this story made you feel like you can see yourself in the pre-change-protagonist, irrespective of your gender, it is high time you should take the same route as she did for a few reasons,

    1.     None other than yourself can help you. It’s your life, your struggles, your traumas and last but not the least, your story!

    2.     Staying in an abusive relationship means you can’t take a stand for yourself, if you can’t do that why anyone else would do.

    3.     Your body and mind are the greatest assets you can ever have. Be friends with them and they will stand for you always.

    4.     Life is too pretty to be wasted.

   

5.     Smudged mascara is hard to remove and drenched pillows smell awful the next morning!

So take care all of you lovely ones and stay happy !!