Social media and Life..

    Nowadays I often receive notifications from my social media accounts like, ‘Did you see what X commented on Y’s profile picture’? Or ‘Have you seen latest check-in by your friend Z’? Similarly the e-shopping apps send ‘See how much one of your contacts saved on that deal!’ kind of alerts every now and then. Seeing all this I wonder, isn’t it all just a more refined e-version of our neighborhood aunties who are always busy in gossiping about what someone said or what someone did?

                        
                                    

      Jokes apart, actually the social media has impacted our lives beyond our imaginations. Gone are the days when people used to go on a trip for enjoyment, purchase something to fulfill a purpose or say, read a book to enhance their knowledge pool. Now each and every of these things and a lot of many other things are done only, so that people can brag about themselves on social media. Fame of a person is measured on the basis of how many likes and comments are earned by him/her.

    

      In our advents of making our lives a social affair, we forget some basic things like; we have a real life too! Remember the last time when you didn't open your social media accounts for more than a few hours? I also confess that my fingers automatically go to the links of these accounts periodically and I browse and come across everything that’s none of my business. Realizing this all, I miss the times when instead of having 756 Facebook friends, I had just 2-3 friends whom I knew inside out and kept in touch with always. I miss the times when we used to travel and gather experiences rather than gathering selfies.

 

       So what is the way out, you ask? I remember once I forgot my cell phone while going for work. That whole day I experienced strange kind of peace within me, also on a trip to a difficult terrain I remained cellular-networks-less for more than a week. Undoubtedly it was the time when I re-connected to myself, I felt like I found a long lost friend—Me. So it’s as simple as this, ditch the virtual world every once in awhile and immerse in experiences that life provides you with. ‘Don’t make life a monochromatic experience rather witness all hues and shades of it’, suggested a wise man recently!  

                                 

When slugs throw dirt on you !

  If you are a rising superstar, you must have come across a common situation sometime, somewhere in your life ( Yes, It's a definite sign of being a superstar). This situation arises when some slugs try to throw dirt on you. They do it for two reasons, firstly they don't have anything substantial to do in their lives and then, they can't withstand your aura. They don't have guts and qualities to upgrade themselves to your level so they try to downgrade you to their level. 
  
   Now, the question arises what to do and not to do when it happens with you. Here is a short list, 

1. First of all, be super happy about it as it shows you have qualities or achievements, they are jealous of. Always remember no one throws dust on someone who is on a downfall. Slugs throw dirt only on rising superstars. Celebrate this fact ! 

2. Stand firmly for whatever you feel is right. In the end nothing matters except what you stood for and how firm you were in doing so. A person who doesn't stand for anything is basically a spineless person. Live like a legend, not like an earthworm. 

3. Don't pay heed to their efforts of vilifying your image as those who have some brains wouldn't believe those slugs and those who believe in them, themselves belong to their category. You don't owe anyone any explanation. 

4. Laugh and smile even more as it will break their hearts so bad and make them wonder that why are you not shattering despite of their mightiest efforts. 

5. And last but not the least, never ever go down to their level. Always keep the difference between you and them alive. After all, you're a rising superstar who has to conquer this world ! 

The Birth-day that became the Worth-day!

12 am- Here starts the celebration of getting older. The best friend (Shi) calls and after some 20 minutes of gushing, grinning and grooving, I accept that she is practically my boyfriend figure. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the unconditional love of my friends (Shi, Apy and Swa), who were actually more excited about my birthday than me.

11 am- I finish Mrs. Funnybones, a book by beauty with the brain Twinkle Khanna. I gifted this book to myself in order to survive my birthday with a relationship status as ‘a single girl’. I actually asked a few days back to some of my friends(Aks, Joe) that what should I gift myself on my birthday and got marvellous suggestions like, gift yourself a boyfriend. Well, I preferred the book over the boyfriend. It amazes me that how books attract me more than living beings. Well, Finishing this book makes me sad as I crave for more from Twinkle.

5 am- I reach the awkwardly awkward workplace to carry on an odd shift duty only to discover that I share my birthday with Katrina Kaif and Aruna Asaf Ali. Sharing your birthday with a Bharat Ratna
Awardee and a Diva surely makes you feel good about yourself. Also today, the beautiful state of Uttarakhand is celebrating Harela, a plantation festival. These little-little information are sufficient to keep me amused.

4 pm- Inspired by the go organic campaign, I plant a baby Hisbiscus Rosa Sinensis plant, only to be declared as a psycho by mom as I keep on checking on it after every 10 minutes. Spoiler Alert for future kids, you people are going to be blessed with a nagging and overprotective mother.

5.30 pm- Best friend's husband (Ash) calls with an unknown number and here starts whole guess-who-am-I game.  I confuse his voice with best friend's father's voice and call him uncle but later on get able to calm him down by saying that uncle has a magical voice.

6.30 pm- I get indulged in watching Wimbledon Men’s Singles final match. After the initial hiccups, my childhood crush Roger Federer gains the momentum and beats 28 years old Cilic with such an ease. The way he hops, yanks, jumps and scores aces so easily, makes me proud of my choice all over again. Yes, on the auspicious day of today, Federer manages to clench this deserving grand slam. He is a grand proof that age is just a number.

8 pm- I try to act surprised on receiving a truffle cake and beautiful roses by brother and sis-in law (shiv,Nan), as I overheard their conversation with mom about a surprise gift. A little while later mom manages to get this wonderful cake upside down and ends up giving me fuzzy logics like it’s all get mushy once it is inside your mouth, kudos mom!

9 pm- Four year old cousin gives me a compliment that I look beautiful and even plants a few kisses on my face, leaving me to wonder how fast forward he will become once he will reach my age. Also by this time atleast 20 persons already asked me when I'm going to get married.  A birthday is the most auspicious occassion of asking such questions, I guess.

11 pm- I am ending the celebration of getting weirder by my favorite thing in the whole world. I get stuck with inertia of rest at times and stop writing but when I get my momentum back, I realize how much I love
writing and will always do!

I think I’ve finally come to the terms of getting older.So, Happy birthday to me.

Oh life, dear life!

In a few hours, I’ll cross another milestone of my life. Yes, I’m turning a year older however not getting any wiser. Instead of wisdom,years just add on to my self-acclaimed esoteric theories regarding life and I think that it’s better to pass on this pseudo-wisdom, than to keep them inside me. So here I am,with few more such theories.

1. I admit that during last year I encountered a lot of humans, humans of all kinds, all tastes and all sizes. What I observed is, a person can enjoy the company of only a few among all the humans he/she encounters and I’m so weirdly weird in my choice of human beings. I’m not likely to like the company of a person who offers me a company without actually offering me a true company. If in the company of a human being I get nothing new and I remain the same person at the end of this company, it feels like a sheer waste of time to me. For being the person who can offer a true company to others, one should be open to new things and new views and should have a progressive mindset. I’m not saying that reading vividly is the only way to acquire this quality but yes, it is a quite effective method to achieve this purpose. Hence it is a good idea to be friends with a person who reads various things; he/she is likely to offer you a true company. And especially if you are planning to date a person, make sure that person is a bibliophile. For all of you who get disenchanted with things/persons easily (like me), this is a wonderful idea as reading makes a person, a brand new one, every time he/she reads something as reading evolves us. And I’m not exaggerating it in saying that if a person is not a fan of reading, I’m not even sure how to talk with that person! (You agree? Great! You don’t? Who cares! )

2. I discovered a brand new way of being young forever. The first and obvious method is to be friends with the 5 W’s (why, who, where, what and when) and 1 H (how), so that the child-like quality of being curious always remains alive. And the second and even better method (my patented one) is to be friends with people younger than you. So all of you who are turning (or feeling) older, discard your own friends (sorry, Shi) and be friends with their younger siblings (welcome S and U in my life!). Get adapted to their terminology; benefit yourself with their energy and Eureka! You get to remain young forever.

3. Two very wise people (S, U) made me realize that we do almost everything in our lives under peer pressure of family, society and our conditioning. Try to avoid doing things under peer pressure and if you can’t, at least make fun of this fact that whole of your life is being controlled by a thing called peer pressure.

Life may be hard, it is not a bed of roses, it is not a cake walk but yes, it is a lot easier if you keep on smiling. So smile, go on and always remember that if life gives you lemons, make lemonade and smile some more.

Marriage? seriously?

A few days back my mom showed me picture of a gentleman in his mid twenties and that’s when this conversation took place,

Mom- Take a look, how’s he?

Me- one nose, two eyes, two ears, hair on the head, normal, he is absolutely normal!

Mom- so do you like him, should I take it forward?

Me- excuse me?

Mom- c’mon, you’re not a kid anymore, all of your friends are getting married.

Me- Not now, ask me again after this century.

I don’t know why parents are so much obsessed with the idea of getting their kids married as soon as first member of their friends circle gets married. They are always like, “see, such a nice guy X has found” or “If you will marry too late, your kids will call you granny instead of mommy!” 

This ends in some random snaps getting waived in front of you every week, getting you convinced by any relative that visits home that it’s the right age to get married and making you wonder that why in the world you had to grow up! Once I was asked if I like someone else so that I’m so reluctant in this matter and I saw blank and shocked faces when I replied that I like too many people but none so much that I can spend rest of my life with them.

I mean, seriously, what is this fuss all about? Why can’t an individual lead a single life and why no one pays attention to the benefits of living a single life. Parents say that you need someone to share your life with, but why? I don’t feel like sharing even my cone of icecream with someone, spare life. They say marriage gives you children that provide you some motive in life, but who says I don’t have any motive in life? I have bigger motives in life than to stay up with a newborn for whole night, cleaning up after it and become a zombie till it starts going college.

In addition, God created me with some very special things that suggest I should remain single for whole my life, I talk while sleeping, I put my arms and legs on anything that is found in my close proximity, sometimes I throw things out of my bed in deep sleep. I’m an easy going person most of the times but sometimes I want time of my own. I don’t allow anyone to sneak in my room during those show-me-the-meaning-of-being-lonely times.Moreover I’ve turned into an over organized person recently and I often scold people who try to ‘help me’ by putting things at wrong places in my cupboard, a whole human being sharing my cupboard and ruining it’s decorum is far far away from the wildest of my imaginations. I can’t imagine anyone bearing with all these norms and that too when I’m not the progeny of any billionaire.

And I fear, what if one fine day I find out that the person I’m living with is a moron/ not-that-classy-as-he-seems-to-be/ a freak or what if he finds out something like this about me? Would he understand that I want to take a break from him/ never see his face again?

Well, I hope that if actually I’ll have to live with someone (The One), he never sees this post and I get more fascinated towards the fact that guys possess some cool stuffs (big comfortable shoes, screwdrivers, cool books and guys’ deodorants), he'll let me use occasionally and I’ll get someone who will listen to my monologues. I better do it fast before next century arrives and Mom comes again with a random snap!

And why should I fit in?

‘You should interact with people more’, she suggested.

‘Not this again’, I said.

‘And you are not the same person anymore’, he added.

‘Not this again’, I requested.

‘And this is how you are supposed to be’, they implied.

‘Not this again’, I screamed.

There is nothing that disturbs me more than the mundane and imposed things. How the things are and how they should be, how inappropriate I am to fit in and what should I do to fit in; these are perhaps the most unwanted discussions of my life. Hence, greatest of my fantasies involve ‘running’.

Running barefoot somewhere in Sonoran desert, running endlessly on an endless street while wearing a long floral white gown, running with the sea waves of some anonymous beach and perhaps running away to some uninhabited place too. I want to run away from every mundane and imposed situation.  

People say that you should face what disturbs you so that it will stop haunting you. But I feel that sometimes it is better to escape than to let a thing shred you mercilessly. Conformity is not a choice; anyway, as Rita Mae Brown famously said, “I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself”. So no, I would never conform to banality. I can bear with people not approving of me but I can’t bear being an alien to myself.

What are the not-so-mundane/unimposed things you might ask. Actually even I can’t answer that accurately as I’m still exploring it’s dimensions. But I can provide you a vague picture of what I think of it. While doing a certain thing if you feel that you would do it in exact same manner even if no one was watching you, if you do a thing with same passion even if no one knew you are doing this thing then that thing is certainly what you actually want to do. And what you actually want to do can not be a mundane/imposed thing, at least not for you.

A-not-so-mundane/unimposed thing enters inside you like a sea wave enters through a sea stack, it flows inside you thoroughly mingling with your whole being and when it leaves you, you are not the same person anymore. You evolve. You feel sheer happiness running in your nerves. On the other hand, doing a mundane/imposed thing keeps you the same person for centuries.

Dipping in the awesomeness of what your heart wants you to do is a blissful feeling. Once you will taste it, you’ll get addicted and this addiction would become the most beautiful thing of your life.

The cherry on the top of the cake is, when it becomes monotonous, you can try doing a mundane thing. You will realize what is your real desire and destiny in nanoseconds!

                                                                             

Beyond That Smudged Mascara ..

                 “Since a very long time (almost five to six thousands years), she was wondering what was missing in her life. Something was creating a void in her heart, a void which was sized greater than the ozone hole situated above Antarctica. A void so grave, that it endangered her whole being. A void that welcomed so many nights with smudged mascara and tears drenched pillows in her life.                                                                      

                                                                                        That void was created under so dark some circumstances that it turned even darker and refused to go. Those circumstances are irrelevant and they need not to be here in this post so I’m excluding them on purpose. That void gave her immense pain but that pain became her habit to such a level so that soon it became her lighthouse and her albatross simultaneously.

                                                                       

She wanted to fill that void but she found herself so weak to complete that task alone. She looked for someone who could help her with that. She was so desperate in doing so that she engaged herself in some abusive relationships. How were those relationships and what went wrong with them is also irrelevant here so I would skip that too.

                                                                                          

           All her life she was waiting for someone who could love her, who could support her when she had questions about her existence and who could take care of her. Eventually she found out one day that the person she was looking for since ever was none other than herself. She started loving herself and she realized that it was the most genuine form of love she ever witnessed.

                                                        A balanced mind and a healthy body were the results of that self love. The hardships and the lonely nights became her lessons of the life and soon she became invincible and that void turned into an epitome of confidence sized of Mt. Cotopaxi. She was an alpha woman now, absorbing and radiating more happiness than she ever thought of.’’

..

If reading this story made you feel like you can see yourself in the pre-change-protagonist, irrespective of your gender, it is high time you should take the same route as she did for a few reasons,

    1.     None other than yourself can help you. It’s your life, your struggles, your traumas and last but not the least, your story!

    2.     Staying in an abusive relationship means you can’t take a stand for yourself, if you can’t do that why anyone else would do.

    3.     Your body and mind are the greatest assets you can ever have. Be friends with them and they will stand for you always.

    4.     Life is too pretty to be wasted.

   

5.     Smudged mascara is hard to remove and drenched pillows smell awful the next morning!

So take care all of you lovely ones and stay happy !!