Secret of ultimate happiness

‘The most important relationship in the life is the one you have with yourself. And if you have that, any other relationship is a plus and not a must’ – Diane Von Frustenberg

The world, we live in, is full of colors, music, vibes, hopes and possibilities. We experience and explore these things daily and this world keeps on bedazzling us with many more such things on a regular basis. Truly said, ‘the best of the ideas/motivations in life come through personal experience’. This whole scenario seems so perfect and beautiful, but it gets complicated as soon as the idea of ‘a-company-while-exploring-things’ enters in it. 

Man is a social animal. We need society for nurturing ourselves and with the society, the idea of a partner and procreation comes too in the picture. We are conditioned to get a partner and settle with him/her while approaching mid twenties (or thirties), blend our lives with them and live happily-ever-after. This whole system seems so easy and conventional, then why marriages fall apart and individuals involved in it suffer?

Well, there may be a hundred of explanations for this but I’m dealing with only one of them this time. My perception for this problem may seem alien or even way-too-advanced to you but then it’s what I observed and truly believe in. I observed that sometimes in a marriage/ relationship individuals become too much codependent and needy. So needy so that they need the other person almost every time to make themselves feel happy. The idea of happiness for them is limited to their partners and what their partners do for them. They keep on saying things like, ‘I’m nothing without you’ or ‘without you I can’t remain happy ever’ to their partners. They become so needy and load their partners with bundle of expectations. They lower their self esteems to a level where their ‘better halves’ are actually ‘the better halves’ of them. Lets talk some physics here, if we will place too much of load on a limited area only, the pressure exerted would be so higher that it will eventually make some dents in that place. Similarly too much expectations from a single person will lead him/her to retort and hurt you.

So now comes the solution part, first of all try to be self sufficient. If you don’t enjoy your own company you won’t be able to enjoy someone else’s company too. ‘You’ should become your best friend. Try to take care of your body and mind so that they take care of you, too. Invest your time, money and energy in yourself and you will get tremendous results. Love yourself, only then the other people will love you. No one wants to be with a partner who is so weak, needy or fragile. Do all the things that make you happy and spread this happiness. Yes, strengthen your relationship with yourself so that all other relationships will be a matter of choice to you. Follow you dreams, pursue your passions and buy some flowers for yourself, next time you return home!  

And lastly, be proud to be in a committed relationship with yourself!