Chicken soup for..umm..aah..yeah,desperately in love souls..!

     During one of our ‘SEEMINGLY’ intellectual chit-chats, a very good friend of mine asked me, "How will you characterize the state of being in love?”. I thought a lot but whatever came to my mind seemed to be very adequate as well as inadequate description of the indescribable feeling. After a limbo of one and a half year and observing many acquaintances and well knowns who are desperately in love, I think I can finally answer her question.

     To my truest belief (Hmph! truest), the most striking characteristic of being in love is that ‘in desperate love we always invent the characters of our partners’. We start portraying our partner’s looks, dressing, behavior, beliefs, talents, hobbies, thinking, attitude, altitude and even aptitude (tad appalling but a true fact). We get disappointed when our beloved fails to play the character, we’ve created for them. After all we created and decorated it with such a divine interest. A character they should fit in, perfectly. Did I say ‘they should’? Minor correction here, they have to! Anyways it’s minor only, right?  

    My friend X, who is an efficient singer, wants her boyfriend to sing like Enrique Iglesias so that they both can sing duets, and you might consider it as an exaggeration but I haven’t come across such a cacophonous human being. Evidently X is very despondent and her boyfriend is a tortured soul (his neighbors too!), the poor fellow has to practice singing by every now and then.

    J, my classmate from school, always featured his partner as a sophisticated and poised girl and so she is; with a perfect balance of mind and composure! The girl also knows Italian and is an epitome of sophistication. In J’s words ‘crème de la crème’ (oops! not exactly his words, he learnt them from his girlfriend!).

    Preferences vary and that too swiftly and moderately, in both ways. I enquired many persons and their preferences can even make you go nuts. Some want their partners to be sporty, some want them to be lazy (partners of some hyperactive persons really want so!), some want them to be good speaker, some good listener, some want them to be intellectual, some geek and the list and tally goes on like this.

     It’s not like these are the signs of selfish love; these are pure characteristics of deseperatey-in-love persons. As they assume their partners as their personal property and I think each and every owner wants to see his property in the best form and state. If there is any alteration by any chance, they are fully capable to mend it and they mend it by every possible way. It’s just like converting a NSC into a ULIP or KVP or vice-versa according to the need and terms of conversion but ultimately every saving is accounted for the MUTUAL FUND which insures for a better future. So never mind their acts as they are just too much sunken in love which makes them to do all this stuff.

 Correct? Correct!

  

   

   

  

  

  

     

The valiant never taste of death but once..!

      Once upon a time, I used to be this person, one; who was afraid of almost every thing. Afraid of loosing the persons close to my heart, afraid of letting a thing or phase go from my life, afraid of leaving familiar places, even afraid of missing a local train(true story, not an exaggeration..!) and just portray a whole gamut of similar or non similar things, I was afraid of all of them. Life was not less than a disaster, I used to cherish the past and good times that I spent, ignoring the present; I was destroying and the future; I was wasting. I spent whole my childhood reciting the lines of Rudyard Kipling,
                "If you can make one heap of all your winnings
                 And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
                 And lose, and start again at your beginnings
                 And never breathe a word about your loss;
                 Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
                  And-which is more-you'll be a man my son!"

  However; I could never apply them in my life for two reasons-

      1.     Firstly; as I mentioned I was too afraid of any change to take place or of taking a risk(no really, things go faster than you think).

      2.     Secondly; I assumed Rudyard Kipling was addressing men not women(winks..! ;) )

But I tell you, life was not good back then, I felt like dying a hundred times everyday. I couldn’t gather the courage of living with a change and made my life stagnant. But somehow I always had a feeling that this is not my destiny, this is not what I am. My mother is a very strong person. I asked her once, “ Mom, which and where was the best time of your life?” She replied, “ Now, now is the best time of my life, where is immaterial. Try to make your home wherever you are. Life without changes can not be considered as life because life moves on”. I loved the idea but I didn’t know how to imply it in my life.

         After some very significant events that occurred in my life, I got to know that my gut feeling was right. As some events change your thinking, some change your way of living but those events changed me from ‘what I was’ to ‘what I am’. I became an acolyte of changes and risks. I’m not saying each of the things I did, fetched me with fruitful results only, some of them even provided me with horrible consequences but nothing could snatch my peace of mind hitherto. I started experiencing every color of life by widening my purview and thus I realized what kinds of joys fearlessness provides you. Truly said,

      “Cowards die a thousand times before their deaths,

        The valiant never taste of death but once…!”

Stay tuned

A letter to "The One"....!!!

  

Dear You;

Today I’m addressing you for I know that you are on board on a ship of future that is leading you towards me. I’m feeling like our longitude has been coincided and latitude is going to coincide soon(yayy!!). You know what is the best thing about picturing you in my head (I mean aside from picturing you, no offence!!)? That is the opportunity, to picture you as I want you to be. I can even picture you as Elvis Presley’s younger brother with greenish blue eyes and all but you know I’m not that avaricious and I  have a very reasonable(yeah,reasonable according to me!) list of expectations that I would like to feature in you.

I’d like to begin with-

1.     I firmly believe that God has fixed one and only one person for us and one fine day our destiny will introduce that person in our life but unfortunately till then everyone is used to enjoy his/her own “setting”. Emergency alert!!! If you are enjoying that “setting” kindly delete that from your database as soon as possible. Your future and final partner is not liking this very idea.

2.     Though I am not attached to materialism but I accept the fact that only that person can enlighten you with the benefits of dieting who is capable to eat sizzlers at Garden De’Bistro. So boy, I expect you to play in millions and as you’ve got it, don’t be shy to flaunt it. After that if you wish we can go for a simple living but you must have to have it.

     3.    Smoking turns me off and my being allergic to fumes adds on to it. But I love the idea of drinking with you and to perform pas de deux on the tune of our own ballads after being totally down.

   

     4.     I like fighting, seriously! I love it when people even loose the track of what they were fighting for. I want to have many of those fights with you but I expect that you will resolve all the fights in seconds if you’ll find me close to tears which is practically next-to-impossible, considering you will be the one who will end up in tears, believe in my guts sweetheart!

     5.     I love to speak, I’m speaking fluently since an age when I was not even capable of walking properly and was a toddler. So I believe that you would be a good listener and always remember that you can not fake me by “selective listening”, you’ll have to be an “empathetic listener”  and an obedient follower of whatever I say, I actually featured you as under my thumb creature but hey! You should appreciate my honesty atleast I’m telling what I actually want. See how good I am(winks..!!).

     6.     My list is so very endless and I fear that it would act as a repellant for you if you’d read all my demands at a time. So I will keep giving you regular doses at regular intervals(see, how considerate I am!).

And lastly I’d like to conclude with that I’m all talks. You know playing with words is my forte so I keep playing with them with every possible aspect. Don’t confuse my words as my desires. They are completely different. And the only thing I’d really like to have in you is a wonderfull heart on which I’ll not make any compromise.

Rest in the depth of future!

Love-

Deepshikha

30^th april 2011

Stay tuned. 

Vanity Thy Name Is Woman..!

                       From the time immemorial, I was carrying a serious question with me. Believe me, it was darn serious as before branching out and vanishing into the state of horrible dreams, it used to abandon me with so many insomniac nights. When I was a kid, I used to ask this question to my mother to confirm if I’m normal or not. But as I grew older, my doubt started converting into the confirmation. A confirmation that changed whole my life, a confirmation that snatched peace of my mind, a confirmation that declared I was not a girl enough. The question that made me restless in all those years was-

                        “Why pink color doesn’t allure me?”

         You see our society is built up of two kinds of creatures- ones who hate pink; that is men and the ones who are afraid to love anything else other than pink; that is women. Just fumble a girl’s wardrobe and you’ll find majority of the stuff announcing the “win-win” state of the pink color. I know women of age-group 3 to 70 years that can vouch for this statement. I used to see at my own wardrobe that got only one pink dress and was full of guys colors like blue, grey and black. And that was the point when plethora of terrible thoughts popped into my head declaring I was not girl enough. People asked me what my favorite color is, and they were generally shocked and worried after listening “Olive Green”. Some of them would probably suggest, “You should do something for this honey!”. Since my childhood my lack of interest in pink and vanity table horrified my mother. She wanted me to turn up into a proper young lady that wasn’t possible unless I liked the pink. But what could I do, pink was never my color, I never played with girls, rather I chose the company of my brothers and I was never bothered about my looks or clothing. All this used to make my mother kind of upset but gradually she accepted it and started living with the fact that she has two sons!

           Sometimes I saw at elderly females who had all the grace of a woman, wearing starched cotton sarees(obviously pink!!), having neatly made plait and putting on exact round shaped sindoor on their forehead. I wondered that even at this age they fancy so much about how they look and they got all the charms towards the life. I started feeling so low considering how less interest I had in these things even at an age of 20 years. And that’s when it striked me that the fear of my mother wasn’t wrong and I was not a proper young lady. Though I didn’t want to grow into a narcissist yet I wanted to feel like a normal girl who cares about how does she look no matter what time of day it is! But one day this all got changed and flying colors including pink(wink..wink) entered into my life.

          It was a busy day and I had to skip my two continuous meals. I was running low with calories and still got a lot of work to finish. I tried to carry on but soon the world started revolving in front of my eyes and I got faint. When I opened my eyes I was surrounded with so many people and my head was resting on my friend’s lap. A little confused and tired, I got up and saw a guy with innocent eyes standing there and watching me worriedly. Forgetting my condition in nanoseconds I enquired my friend in sign language if I looked okay. She smiled and assured me that I looked fine. And instantly it was crystal clear to me that girls always will be the girls, no matter if they like pink or not. “Aah Vanity; thy Name Is woman!!”.            

Some Things Would Never Change!!!

    In my school days family get together's have always been fun for me and my cousins. I have a ramified clan with uncles, aunts and their offspring. Me and my cousins used to wait eagerly for summer vacations or functions; for those were the times when we all would meet and entered into Terra Incognita of our own reveries. We lived our childhood to it's fullest that involved street-cricket, comic strips, video games, climbing on trees, counting stars and visiting fares with siblings. Ten years later, when I look back to see that time, I find it was the golden era of my life. I love that time and all our childhood fantasies.
   Since I joined engineering, I rarely get chance to visit home. However, during last summers I got a chance to be amidst everyone all over again. It was strange to see that younger set of our generation had taken our place but still I was amused and extremely happy as observing them gives me immense pleasure of re-living my golden days. I featured us in them.
                    But as it is said," Every illusion is meant to be shattered!!!".
   The younger set of our generation(3-12 years old) was having a chat on a fine afternoon when all the elders were having their naps. I decided to join the kids( and my ears could not believe what they heard!!). One of the them was bragging about the new 'United Colors Of Benetton' t-shirt he got last week and others were listening and over bragging their own branded stuffs. My jaw just dropped as at their age my world was limited to only two brands- 'Mom's Choice' and 'My Choice'. However I ignored this incident and thought it's nothing but the fault of commercialization. That evening I was watching a movie on television when toddlers involving youngest set(3-6 years) came and demanded to watch cartoons. Affectionately I handed over the remote and asked them,"which show you want to see babies, Rapunzel or Little Mermaid?" They burst into laughter, gushed and watched me with disgust as if I said some very inappropriate thing. My eyes widened up as I saw them watching Ben10 and Generator Rex. I mean, we see cartoons because they are cute like Rapunzel, Tom&Jerry, Little Mermaid, Looney Tunes and so on. But the stuff they were watching was horrible, mechanised and disturbing. Disturbing disturbing (watching Ra-1 like disturbing!!)
   In next few hours I discovered they don't do a single thing, we did 10 years back. Comic strips became non-existent, NFS and CS took place of Mario and Islander, cartoons they liked were horrible and playing street cricket was, you know, "Tacky!!". My 5 year old cousin could pronounce 'Encyclopaedia' so fluently at the age when I didn't even know the meaning of this word. The little brats destroyed all the illusions I made in my mind and my featuring of "Us" in "Them". That night when two of kindergartners were sleeping next to me, I felt like I am sleeping with enemies who have innocent face but there is an alien, Ben10 fights with, behind this innocence. Next whole day I avoided them as much as possible while they were busy with same stuff they used to do.
   That was a full moon night and I went upstairs to get some fresh air. In one corner of roof I found a-four-year-old-enemy standing and staring at the sky with full concentration. Forgetting my animosity for a second I genuinely asked her,"What you are doing Princess?"
"sshhh, I'm counting stars didi",she replied musingly.
A delight ran in my veins, instantly I featured exact four year old I used to be, in her. I kneeled next to her and kissed her forehead.
"Thanks God, some things would never change!!", I smiled to myself.


Stay Tuned.    

Artificial Intelligence..

    Sir John McCarthy ( Father of Artificial Intelligence or AI) knew that the machines we are surrounded with, despite of having huge memory storage and performing complicated processes don’t actually know what they are doing. Therefore he worked for inducing AI in those machines. As a result we have numerous ‘SMART’ gadgets and devices around us. But certainly Sir McCarthy would have been shocked if he would have known that not only with devices but also someone could tell him to deal with human beings without senses. I know a bunch of persons who have certainly lost their common-senses as well as every bit of intelligence and you can detect it at Prima Facie in a matter-of-fact way ( I really wonder if Sir McCarthy’s concepts of AI could help them!!) .

      The first category belongs to the common-most species on the earth which you can name as so-called-broken-hearted-persons species. You can identify them easily as they have certain salient characteristics. Inevitably, they possess “Show me the meaning of being lonely” & “Emptiness”  in their playlists. You just dare to say them what a horrible day it is! And in a quid-pro-quo manner they will tell you how horrible their life is without their ex-paramours (Horrible, I mean how both the things are even related!!). They think seeing a girl for a week, following her for next couple of weeks and then to get their hearts broken make them The-Most-Deprived creatures on the earth. You ask them what is love and they will tell you the gist of all love messages they received during past one and a half years. They will tell you their whole story repeatedly till you remember it, as it is, with same amount of intonations. They pay their heartfelt thanks to Mark Zuckerberg as they can visit their ex’s Facebook profile 24*7 without even coming to recent visitors list (contrary to Orkut). I wish I, myself, could induce some AI into their minds!!
       The second category belongs to the creatures who are living someone else’s life. They had an identity but somehow they realized it’s not fun enough to live with it so instantly they shredded it off and veiled an identity they liked. Now they are not original and not even switched ones. They are hanging somewhere in between. They learnt a few words like wanna, gotcha, macha & hogging and they think they could spend their entire lifetime with a pseudo personality and pseudo panache. (Sir McCarthy, you are urgently needed here!!)

       And coming to the third category, can you guess who belongs to that? Yes, yes you are thinking in right direction, but I’m telling you it’s nothing but the part of a conspiracy.
                                     

                                     Screw You Universe!!!

         I’m the one who belongs to the third and the most dangerous species. A writer, who has to think every nonsense stuff one could possibly imagine, to rub it into every affair of the world and to do everything else that is not at all my business. But as I told you, It’s just the part of Universe’s conspiracy (However I won’t mind induction of some AI into me as many of my friends think I’m insane, vituperative and impossible at the same time!!).

                  P.S. - Ignore the mention of last category and stay tuned

                               @deepshikhazee.blogspot.com. :) :)

Life..Life..Life!!!!!

     It's been a while since I've written something.The first question that could pop in your mind might be,"what's so special about today?". I mean the world is all same. Although Auto LPG prices are hiked by Rs.6, various flights of kingfisher are cancelled(again!!,I mean what does Vijay Malya think he is doing with Kingfisher?),Djokovic won Miami ATP Title and SEBI allows listing of stock exchanges. But does this all really make any difference to my world? No;absolutely not. So what is my driving factor? Well;maybe it is just another overpowering feeling that couldn't be described in words.
     You see,the world is just sublime with beams of chrysanthemums, scent of lavendars, blissfull breezes, innumerable hopes, sunshine and everything else that makes this world even a prettier place to live in. And as if it is not enough,here comes the heady herald of hues to mark the beginning of another summer!!! You just look up from your busy schedule that is limited to mind-numbing amount of work, list of bills to pay and premiums to fill. Life is about living every moment to it's fullest.
     Some persons complain that people around them bug them a darn lot with peeping questions and intrusive inquiries. I also know many brats who are not at all considered about I'm living or dying but they keep on asking questions like,"how you are doing girl?" at the times when I feel low to make me feel even lower. But then I just answer them,"I'm doing great buddy!!" (with offcourse a giggle on my face and a serious note on my mind saying,"I'm not walking on the Boulevard Of Broken Dreams,as you want me to,You Asshole!!).
    Our every smile is a deep-hurting-stroke for our foes and a bliss for our loved ones.So smile a lot, travel a lot, make a lot of friends and do every hell of deed that makes you feel alive.As;
                                              "Aane waala Pal,jaane waala hai,
                                               Ho sake to isme zindagi bita do,
                                               Pal jo yeh jaane waala hai!!!!"