Secret of ultimate happiness

‘The most important relationship in the life is the one you have with yourself. And if you have that, any other relationship is a plus and not a must’ – Diane Von Frustenberg

The world, we live in, is full of colors, music, vibes, hopes and possibilities. We experience and explore these things daily and this world keeps on bedazzling us with many more such things on a regular basis. Truly said, ‘the best of the ideas/motivations in life come through personal experience’. This whole scenario seems so perfect and beautiful, but it gets complicated as soon as the idea of ‘a-company-while-exploring-things’ enters in it. 

Man is a social animal. We need society for nurturing ourselves and with the society, the idea of a partner and procreation comes too in the picture. We are conditioned to get a partner and settle with him/her while approaching mid twenties (or thirties), blend our lives with them and live happily-ever-after. This whole system seems so easy and conventional, then why marriages fall apart and individuals involved in it suffer?

Well, there may be a hundred of explanations for this but I’m dealing with only one of them this time. My perception for this problem may seem alien or even way-too-advanced to you but then it’s what I observed and truly believe in. I observed that sometimes in a marriage/ relationship individuals become too much codependent and needy. So needy so that they need the other person almost every time to make themselves feel happy. The idea of happiness for them is limited to their partners and what their partners do for them. They keep on saying things like, ‘I’m nothing without you’ or ‘without you I can’t remain happy ever’ to their partners. They become so needy and load their partners with bundle of expectations. They lower their self esteems to a level where their ‘better halves’ are actually ‘the better halves’ of them. Lets talk some physics here, if we will place too much of load on a limited area only, the pressure exerted would be so higher that it will eventually make some dents in that place. Similarly too much expectations from a single person will lead him/her to retort and hurt you.

So now comes the solution part, first of all try to be self sufficient. If you don’t enjoy your own company you won’t be able to enjoy someone else’s company too. ‘You’ should become your best friend. Try to take care of your body and mind so that they take care of you, too. Invest your time, money and energy in yourself and you will get tremendous results. Love yourself, only then the other people will love you. No one wants to be with a partner who is so weak, needy or fragile. Do all the things that make you happy and spread this happiness. Yes, strengthen your relationship with yourself so that all other relationships will be a matter of choice to you. Follow you dreams, pursue your passions and buy some flowers for yourself, next time you return home!  

And lastly, be proud to be in a committed relationship with yourself!

Saying no is the new sexy!

 “Saying no can be the ultimate self-care.” –Claudia Black

               People ranging from Steve Jobs to Paulo Coelho enlightened us with the usefulness of saying no. Like how saying no can save us from some very awkward situations, save our energy, time and money (and of course brains). But that time they didn’t realize that they are guiding Gen Y with an immensely useful dating tip. Yes, your guess is right.

Dating tip #1- Say ‘No’, It is the new sexy!

                 Gone are the days when agreeing with your partner in everything was considered as proper dating etiquette and when best partner of the world was used to be a person who would say yes on each and every thing. Let it be going out for a movie, buying a new pet or any petty/huge issue.

                                                           But, Aah! Human mind and it’s complexities. Our generation doesn’t like simple things. A thing should be complex and complicated to keep us enchanted with it. So those people out there who are agreeing with their partners on each and every thing, kindly stop. You are not doing any good to your relationship. Soon your partners will get bored with the monotonous ‘yes’. Stop repelling them. Learn saying no, ASAP.

                                                                               Saying no gives you a mystic aura that attracts your partner and makes them think that you have some covert aspects of your personality, they are not aware of and so they have to overt them. Soon they will get totally busy in overting those layers and won’t even realize that they are trapped in them. They won’t get a chance to get bored. So start saying no frequently. Like, no I’m not available for outing this time. Oh God no! I don’t like your shirt a bit. And keep saying stuff like, ‘baby! You are so good but the problem is with me, I think I’m not ready to take this relationship to the next step’. Saying things like these maintain your importance in the relationship.

                                                                  And when you become an expert in saying no, proceed to the next level. Now saying things like, ‘Oh! I don’t give a damn about that’ can come in handy. Trust me, it’s really attractive and soon you will become catnip of your partners. Just remember never to cross the line and maintain equilibrium.

                     

                   Now you may ask how to give them element of surprise at times? Well, just say ‘Yes’ for a change and your work is done!