And why should I fit in?

‘You should interact with people more’, she suggested.

‘Not this again’, I said.

‘And you are not the same person anymore’, he added.

‘Not this again’, I requested.

‘And this is how you are supposed to be’, they implied.

‘Not this again’, I screamed.

There is nothing that disturbs me more than the mundane and imposed things. How the things are and how they should be, how inappropriate I am to fit in and what should I do to fit in; these are perhaps the most unwanted discussions of my life. Hence, greatest of my fantasies involve ‘running’.

Running barefoot somewhere in Sonoran desert, running endlessly on an endless street while wearing a long floral white gown, running with the sea waves of some anonymous beach and perhaps running away to some uninhabited place too. I want to run away from every mundane and imposed situation.  

People say that you should face what disturbs you so that it will stop haunting you. But I feel that sometimes it is better to escape than to let a thing shred you mercilessly. Conformity is not a choice; anyway, as Rita Mae Brown famously said, “I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself”. So no, I would never conform to banality. I can bear with people not approving of me but I can’t bear being an alien to myself.

What are the not-so-mundane/unimposed things you might ask. Actually even I can’t answer that accurately as I’m still exploring it’s dimensions. But I can provide you a vague picture of what I think of it. While doing a certain thing if you feel that you would do it in exact same manner even if no one was watching you, if you do a thing with same passion even if no one knew you are doing this thing then that thing is certainly what you actually want to do. And what you actually want to do can not be a mundane/imposed thing, at least not for you.

A-not-so-mundane/unimposed thing enters inside you like a sea wave enters through a sea stack, it flows inside you thoroughly mingling with your whole being and when it leaves you, you are not the same person anymore. You evolve. You feel sheer happiness running in your nerves. On the other hand, doing a mundane/imposed thing keeps you the same person for centuries.

Dipping in the awesomeness of what your heart wants you to do is a blissful feeling. Once you will taste it, you’ll get addicted and this addiction would become the most beautiful thing of your life.

The cherry on the top of the cake is, when it becomes monotonous, you can try doing a mundane thing. You will realize what is your real desire and destiny in nanoseconds!